Baby Harry Brian Tabbernal

Mummy (Ekaterina)

Our sweet little baby boy was born 2nd February 2000 and died shortly after birth due to a diaphragmatic hernia. Here are some very special poems written from my broken heart.

"I'll hold you in Heaven"

Unforgettable Images

The delightful ultrasound footage of you moving around (like Houdini)
Waving your hands
Yawning and smiling
Seeing your chest rise and fall as you breathe
and your hair floating gently like silk.

Seeing your little head crowning
Touching your tiny hand for the first time
Watching your Daddy pull you out
and cutting the umbilical cord with much gusto.

The unbelievable feeling of having you lay on my chest
Soaking your warm soft skin next to mine
thinking "Oh at last your in my arms".

Seeing you struggling to breathe
but never thinking I would loose you
Seeing you whisked away from me
not knowing it would be the last time I see you alive.

Your Daddy's face when he told me you "didn't make it"
My whole world collapsing in great devastation
The shock on the faces of those present in the room
The tears in your Daddy's eyes.

Mesmerized as you lay so peacefully in my arms
Desperately wishing you'd wake up
amidst the sounds of crying babies
being born nearby.

Having to say goodbye at the hospital
Leaning over to kiss you farewell
A single tear lands softly
upon your perfectly rounded face
beneath your eye
As if you too were crying.

Seeing how your face had changed
asleep in the bassinet on the day of your funeral
Holding you for the last time
with streams of sobbing tears
Wanting to just take you home and keep you warm.

Seeing your Daddy carry your tiny white coffin
where you were laid to rest
for the journey to your new home
Not being able to be with you
for the heart wrenching drive.

Watching, but not believing
as you are gently lowered to peace
Tossing rose petals of love and despair
As family and friends offer comfort.

All these images and many more
Shall never erase from my mind

May 2000

"This sketch was created from an actual photograph of Harry & I immediately after birth, with his tiny 'wings'"

Unsung Lullabies

Sweet loving lullabies
To rock you to sleep
Sweet loving lullabies
To quietly hum
Sweet loving lullabies
To tenderly share
Sweet loving lullabies
To tumble off to sleep
Sweet loving lullabies
Unsung..

August 2000

Dear God

As I speak to you in prayer
I ask of you the same question;

Were we not worthy of your precious gift?

I search and search to find meaning and purpose
as to why Harry was Your "chosen one"

Chosen to do your work
To spread love, joy, hope and healing
To join all the other privileged Angels in Heaven
The one kept safe and warm in your everlasting arms

I ask that you grant me the humility of knowing
To ease my weary and burdened heart
To renew my courage and calm my fears
To strengthen and mend my broken spirit
As I pass through this valley of sorrow

Or am I to wait till Heavens calls?
October 2000

Happy 1st Birthday Harry

On this day you were born
Full of courage
Full of love
Our blessed little Angel

Your cherubic cheeks and sweetness
Are stamped forever in our hearts

And although your time with us was brief
You left us with more than we could have ever expected

We love you deeply and miss you completely

But we know your halo is shining bright today
On this, the day you were born
An Angel

Love Mummy ~ 2nd February 2001

"Our precious Angel Harry - One who could not live, yet will never die"

Email : ekat@optusnet.com.au

For anyone wishing to know more about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH)
Ekat recommends this site.
http://www.geocities.com/aussiecherubs_2000/index.htm